FUCK YOU: Jamie Lee Curtis

The object of our admonishment this week? “Oscar” “Winner” Jamie “Lee” Curtis. A lot of people know her as the woman who snubbed Stephanie Tsu for the best supporting actress in Everything Everywhere All At Once, (she had hot dog fingers), or maybe as Laurie from Halloween. That’s with Michael Myers, not the guy with the knives for fingers, JLC doesn’t have a finger fetish, her publicist has made us put that dollop of information in this article. But I want to mainly talk about her performance in the Activia commercials. Activia, you know, the yogurt for grownups. First of all, why were your commercials airing at the same window as Cole and Dylan Sprouse’s were for Danimals? What do you have against letting the younger generation win? Secondly, how DARE you tell me what to do with MY probiotics. My gut bacteria was perfectly fine living off of Yo-go balls and cafeteria chocolate milk. 

Now you went and put your “healthy” ideas into my moms head and suddenly, bye bye blue raspberry yogurt, hello low fat pamplemousse? Healthy ideas are for Michelle Obama and Michelle Obama only. Wow, another woman of color you want to take credit from? You should be ASHAMED, JLC. And you know what? I bet you keep your hair short so you can’t donate to locks of love, aka the wig making service for cancer patients. You hate cancer kids Jamie, huh? By the way, this woman was INSIDE of a young Lindsay Lohan during Freaky Friday. Guess we gotta add PEDO to the list of offenses. A-list celebrity? More like, it’s more like ‘asshole list’ celebrity, or something. Yeah.