Hello Adulting! Millennial Woman’s Anus Graduates to Butt Stuff
If you look closely, you’ll see the Deathly Hallows tattoo
(Wichita, KS) After four years of coursework, classes, and study, local area woman Heather takes the stage, donned in cap and down, as her butthole announces it is ready to join the workforce. Heather’s anus Carmen is ready to take the plunge as well.
“I’ve been ready mentally for a long time, and now I get to formally announce to the world: hit me with it, universe!” reports Carmen, the butthole.
Asked about the Harry Potter tattoo gracing her lower back, Heather laughed it off. “You have to separate the art from the artist. I have lots of trans friends, I have lots of Wizarding World witches and wizards, and all the muggles in between.”
On the same topic, anus Carmen has different feelings. Below is a transcript of my interview with the butthole.
CARMEN
Supporting the art of a TERF, yes, I’ll say it, TERF, has implications. You’re supporting popularity and cultural relevance, and you’re monetarily supporting an anti-trans activist.
INTERVIEWER
Is tattoo removal the only clear answer?
CARMEN
I don’t want Heather to be ashamed of her body. But I’m also more than a poop hole. I fuck, you know? And trying to be sexy with JK Rowling in mind does not make for good boom booms.
INTERVIEWER
Let’s focus more on your own graduation. Congrats, by the way.
CARMEN
Thank you.
INTERVIEWER
What is the number one lesson you’ve learned on your journey towards butt stuff?
CARMEN
Hmm. Great question. I’d almost say I’m stumped!
INTERVIEWER
Ha, ha.
CARMEN
Ha. Number one lesson? No, not douching. Not beads or plugs. Number one lesson: don’t expect to squirt. You’re not like the other hole. You’re different. You’re special. And once you finally graduate, you’ll learn a valuable lesson: jizz farts.
INTERVIEWER
Care to say more?
CARMEN
To those who know jizz farts, no explanation is required. To those who don’t, no explanation will suffice.
INTERVIEWER
Carmen, everyone. A Renaissance butthole and a true pleasure to chat with. Thank you.
As Heather heads into adulthood, Carmen heads into buttstuff. A proud moment for both entities as they journey towards self-realization and freakiness.