FUCK YOU: In-app Surveys!

I hate in-app surveys that ask if you’re having a good time. 

I’ll be using the Swiftlane app to unlock my apartment door and this popup appears afterwards that says “Are you enjoying the app?”

It’s like a dude asking “was that good for you?” after sex. Dude. The door either unlocks or it doesn’t. And no, I didn’t cum.

And the worst part is if you answer honestly. 

The popup asks if you’re satisfied with the app. And if you answer no? There’s another popup that’s like “WAIT WHY NOTTTTT!! :(”

You know that one friend who thinks she can sing but she can’t? But she asks you for feedback all the time? And if you answer honestly, she’ll just keep asking you more questions about it while her face gets red and you can see tears welling up in her eyes. I don’t like getting into that cycle, and I don’t like making her sad. But sometimes it’s so tempting to be honest and tell her she sounds like a bathroom air vent that’s working a little too hard.

Don’t ask me if you can sing. Figure it out, bitch.

Swiftlane fucking sucks by the way.